


sitting by my radio

by allmywill



Category: Martha Davis (Musician), The Motels (Band)
Genre: 1970s, 1980s, Gen, Music, New wave - Freeform, Nonfiction, personal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:07:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23083696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmywill/pseuds/allmywill
Summary: The story of how I got into the criminally underrated bandThe Motelsand why their music is so near and dear to me.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Though I’ve only been a diehard fan since November 2019, The Motels and Martha Davis have changed my life in such a short time.

I’ve been into new wave music for a long time, first getting into The Smiths and The Cure in 2014/2015. Since then, I’ve listened to so much of the genre that I’m practically an expert. My Blondie/Debbie Harry obsession lit a flame within me in 2016, and it hasn’t stopped since. This music has been my life since then. It’s part of me.

I remember back in 2017 when my mom got her new car, and it came with a free year of Sirius satellite radio. I was changing the stations one day, looking for something I knew. I passed channel 33 and she heard a familiar song, telling me to leave it on. It was The Motels, _Only the Lonely_. She said she had the 45 single when she was growing up, and it was one of the first she ever bought.

I liked the song, though I didn’t seek out the rest of the band’s music until much later. I’m really surprised I didn’t back then; it was like that song was written just for me. _It’s like I told you, only the lonely can play._ 2017 was a strange, transitional period of my life. I was lost, scared, and lonely. Especially in the summer, when I heard the song for the first time. I had just graduated and was beginning a new chapter of my life, the friends I had dwindling with each day that passed.

Fast forward to the very beginning of November 2019. I’m delving into more new wave music, the more obscure stuff, bands like Romeo Void, Missing Persons, The Fixx, etc. I’m at my favorite record store and I come across three Motels records: _All Four One_ , _Little Robbers_ , and _Shock_. I remember liking _Only the Lonely_ , and hearing of _Suddenly Last Summer_. I bought all of them and I’m glad I did.

That was my best purchase of 2019, by far. I brought them home and when I heard the entirety of _All Four One_ , I was obsessed. Martha’s emotive delivery of these powerful, guitar-driven yet synthy tracks just blew my mind. It was everything I liked about music: lyrics, instrumentation, and quirky album art. The songs shift moods, swinging from pungent angst, to the echoing, empty feeling of loneliness, to fearfulness, and so on. All these feelings are ones I can relate to.

It’s hard to pinpoint the stand out tracks on the album for me, since they all stand out to me for different reasons. As a jazz fan, _Change My Mind_ is very satisfying. _Tragic Surf_ sends chills up my spine, the beat reminiscent of the crashing of waves Martha sings of. The transition from the dark cover of _He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)_ and the upbeat _Forever Mine_ is another example of the album’s mood swings. It’s all tastefully done, in my opinion.

I took my time getting into the other two albums. _Little Robbers_ had the same effect on me; the first thumping drum beats of _Where Do We Go From Here (Nothing Sacred)_ pulled me right in from the get go. _Suddenly Last Summer_ makes me nostalgic for anything and everything; that’s the magic of that dreamy sad riff. The beautiful lyrics to _Remember The Nights_ had me picking up the needle again and again, repeat, repeat! (The album wasn’t on Spotify yet, at the time I got into the album, so I relied on my vinyl copy. Talk about living like it’s 1983!)

Moving on to _Shock_ , I fell completely in love with _My Love Stops Here_. If you ask me, it should have been a single. It’s a beautiful song. I adore the aesthetic of the album, the vibe it gives off. _Shame_ deserved better chart success, if I might add. The video was well done, Martha looks stunning!

So after being thoroughly obsessed with those albums, I naturally sought out more Motels music. I heard their first album, _Motels_ , and I will never forget how I felt listening to it for the first time. It was something like four in the morning, and _Total Control_ came on. I knew ten seconds into the song that the nearly six minute masterpiece would become my anthem.

The album has been on constant rotation since the day I played it for the first time. I don’t think I could ever give it enough praise, it’s just everything. I love it. I connect with it, almost like it’s my friend. Sounds weird but it’s true.

 _Total Control_ is up with my favorite songs of all time, with _Well I Wonder_ by The Smiths, _Fake Plastic Trees_ by Radiohead, and _X Offender_ by Blondie. It practically has my name written all over it. The lyrics are pretty simple, but that makes the song even more relatable. It can be applied to a lot of situations. _I’d sell my soul for total control over you._ With a line like that, you don’t need to elaborate much more.

I listen to that song every day. If not once, then multiple times, multiple ways: vinyl, CD, on my phone. It’s my world. It eases the ache I feel on my bad days, gets me through the pain I feel of becoming an adult. Everything seems like it’s up in the air, confusing and strange, but when I have this song on, all of that goes away. I’m home.

Things haven’t been easy lately, a lot has been going on in my personal life. When I put the _Motels_ album on, no matter what song is playing, it’s an instant pick me up.

 _Closets & Bullets_ is one I’ve been putting on a lot lately, the lyrics get me. _Changes come like bullets, shock but no pain. Dearie me, I see I’m alone again._

_Atomic Cafe_ has some lyrics I also feel deeply. _The lonely ain’t so free._

And _Counting: Every night I sit home alone, sitting by my radio. I'm just hoping that something good will come on. But it never does._ The entire song is how I’ve felt for the past couple years. Music is all I really have, at the end of the day. At night, it’s me and my ‘radio’, or my phone with Spotify open and my earbuds in. I have never felt more understood than when I’m playing this song.

The connection I have to Martha’s lyrics is so hard to describe. (But here I am, trying to describe it anyway.) It’s like she knows me and I know her. It’s strange but it’s a beautiful feeling.

 _Careful_ is so quirky, a real step forward for the band, being their second album. Talk about ambition. The title track has been a theme in my life recently. It’s real hard for me not to type out all the lyrics because they’re just so relevant.

Ah, fuck it.

_Making up for extra time  
Trying not to lose all that I thought was mine  
Spell it to you black and white  
You think you're the kind of trouble  
That is worth a lot  
Can't you see you're very not?  
But just don't leave me  
But just don't leave me  
But please don't leave me_

It’s a blatant fuck off and a plead at the same time. It’s genius, somehow: that indecisiveness, the going back and forth not knowing what she wants. The beat, the way it seems to bounce up and down, goes together perfectly with these lyrics. That’s a staple of this album, especially on my favorite, _Bonjour Baby_.

I listen to that one on repeat a lot. The guitars are loud, the song itself is _loud_. Martha sounds like she’s competing with the instruments, throwing her voice as she sings the final lines: _Just to say bonjour, please don’t say bonjour._ It’s another song that’s more open to interpretation. I like to think about the meaning of this one. It looks like Paris in my head, lips pressed to the speaker of a pay phone, dial tones, tears and laughter. So much emotion.

Moving on, so I buy every Motels related thing I can get my hands on. I have every album on vinyl, almost, with the exception of 1981’s _Apocalypso_. I do have the CD though and it’s been on repeat in my car. It’s really heavy. The entire album sounds like a demo, and really, it was. (It became 1982’s _All Four One_.) The early version of _Art Fails_ is one of my favorites, as well as _Lost But Not Forgotten_ and _Sweet Destiny_.

I’m still building my collection but I do have a lot! I’m always on the lookout for stuff, and it has become an obsession very quickly. I won’t be happy until I own everything they’ve ever released, I think.

I found a sealed copy of Martha’s first solo album _Policy_ a couple weeks ago and I was so excited. It has a lot of good songs, and with proper promotion, could have been a bigger success in 1987. My personal favorite is _Just Like You_.

I’ve heard everything I can get ahold of online, but there’s so many demos and things out there that I haven’t yet! They have some self released stuff I’ll have to buy from their store to hear, since the tracks are nonexistent online. At least I have something to look forward to, this band is my life.

If you haven’t heard any of their songs or albums, I recommend! Really good stuff. There’s more to The Motels than _Only the Lonely_ and _Suddenly Last Summer,_ but even if those are all you ever hear, they’re still legendary in their own right.

I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving this band. I’m so glad I found them, because without them, I would have never felt so understood. Along with Duran Duran, they’ve helped to reignite my creative flame and have kept it burning.

So, now, I’ll go back to _sitting by my radio_.


	2. Chapter 2

I wasn’t going to update this again but something great happened yesterday and I just had to document it somewhere. It had me smiling all day. I’m still beaming from it.

So a little bit ago I ordered a couple CDs from The Motels site. They self released some albums and they are unavailable elsewhere, so this is stuff I’ve never heard before. I’ve been looking forward to it and when the mail came, I was absolutely elated.

I open the mailer and pull out the albums. There’s a card on top of them, a notecard with a sheet music design on it. I flip it over and it says: _Love you! Martha Davis_. I ran out to show my family because I was so excited.

I certainly wasn’t expecting it so it was a nice surprise. I know it only takes a couple seconds to sign a card but I found that very sweet and thoughtful. It means a lot to me; I’ve found solace in her music. Every time I listen to it, my love grows.

I’m so glad I found The Motels at the time I did. Life has been rough, but I’ve got wonderful music to keep me going. I feel way less alone than I felt at this time last year. I have many artists and people to thank for that, Martha Davis being one of them.

The card is now displayed on my shelf, along with some of my other Motels stuff. It’ll serve as a reminder of all the wonderful things I have in my life, especially on the days I lose sight of those things.

Music heals.

Here’s one of the many songs I’ve fallen in love with after hearing the albums. I hand typed the lyrics since they’re not online. They’ve performed this one live a few times and it’s really beautiful.

_ Come take a trip with me, _

_ we’ll travel to the ending _

_ We’ll have some laughs _

_ and a little time to think _

_ Turn off the operation center, _

_ it’s not working _

_ Put your coffee down _

_ Just leave it by the sink _

_ And count your blessings cause _

_ this is your lucky day _

_ Count your blessings cause _

_ I think you’re on your way _

_ A little cautious round the turns _

_ and that’s just normal _

_ Rock has fallen and you know _

_ that it’s the truth _

_ You’ve found a corner that _

_ somehow will bring you comfort _

_ You’ve found some comfort _

_ in the fact that you’re aloof _

_ So count your blessings cause _

_ this is your lucky day _

_ Count your blessings cause _

_ things are gonna change _

_ And if not now, then when _

_ Cause you might not be back here again _

_ You might not be back here again _

_ You might not be back here again _

— **_If Not Now Then When_**


End file.
